so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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