Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
