can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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