This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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