I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
