I'm lost and stupid without you.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
zippers are such a cool invention
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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