well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
