4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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