Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
