If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
