She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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