singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
