His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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