Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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