Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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