were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
