I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
