I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
