Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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