Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
