They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
