I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
