Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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