You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
