I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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