broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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