Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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