i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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