Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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