I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just cut my nipple shaving
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize