don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
