you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
