when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
