susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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