question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
How does one acquire holy water?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
