Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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