it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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