when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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