thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
