I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
