evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
