There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
