So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
