Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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