Just cropdusted the office
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
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