He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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