He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
