This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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