roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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