okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
