i just google imaged poop.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
