bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
