i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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