The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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