No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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