Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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