Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
