I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
