oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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