Kiss
Puke
hell yes lets make some ravioli
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
