Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
