Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
