Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
