she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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